Out of Commission

Crunch. Crunch. Cruuuunnnnccchhh. When I open my eyes, all I see is a blur of words.

And my nose feels weird. Like it's asleep. All tingly.


I pick up my head, out of my book.

And I see Zane. Eating my Pringles.

My vision is blurry and I feel drool on my mouth. And on my book.

I squint my eyes at Zane. "Why'r you eating my Pringles?"


He smiles. Apparently something is funny. "You look like you lost a fight with a wall."


I squint again. The sun was coming through the windows of the break room. "What'r you talking about?"


Zane points to my face.

"How long have I been out?" The last thing I remembered was reading. What book was I even reading?

"I don't know. Like half-an-hour, I guess." Zane loses no time shoving more of my Pringles in his mouth.

I get up and walk to the bathroom to examine my face and laughed out loud when I did. Zane was right. I looked like I'd lost a fight with a wall.

My entire forehead was bright red and my nose was blotchy red and looked creased and maybe a little crooked.


I'd had trouble staying awake at work all day. Even when I was shampooing someone, my eyelids had felt heavy.

It had just been a crummy day. I was exhausted and worrying about my husband and all the bills.

And I hated working on Saturdays. The busiest hair day of the week.

So a little while later, with a huge red mark still on my forehead, I collect my paycheck and what's left of my Pringles and head out to my car.

Usually on Saturdays after work, I just go home and stay up half the night watching rented Blockbuster movies with my husband.

But for the time being my husband is out of commission, for lack of better words, and I have nothing to do and nobody to do it with.

So, instead of heading home, I find myself driving across town and parking in the Long Horn parking lot. I walk in and ask for a table for one.

Declining any real food or drink, I order a water and a chocolate stampede. A chocolate cake big enough to feed four people. Aware that there are better ways of dealing with life than this, I continue anyways.

And I eat the entire thing.


  1. You are mean! All I want in the world right now is that!

  2. That is quite an awesome looking dessert, and certainly what I would go for on a bad day!

  3. Hey I love your blog! Yummy dessert :) I'm definitely following! Check out my blog if you get a chance and say hey :)

  4. do they have them on the east coast? like northern? if not i guess i'll have to try it out before i leave tx. ew.
    but i think you deserved it.
    and i hope you punched zane for eating your pringles. i would have..

  5. Your family is weird but I love the little things that you do.

    It's lovely.

  6. now i'm on a mission.
    but if you give me one reason not to hate texas, i'm going to be very upset.

  7. LOL! I can't wait til you find a Long Horn.


  8. I haven't been to a Longhorn steakhouse in years! That desert sounds fantastic and the exact thing I would want when I was feeling down.

  9. :::Faints in the desert before finish reading post:::::......this is just sad, hahah...makes no sense at all for that desert to LOOK that good. I'm going to find a way to steal it,right quick off your blog thru my laptop screen haha :)

  10. I've had one of those!! DEEE-LICOUS!

  11. If those had been my Pringles, a death match would have ensued. I take my food very seriously.